Suprise.

Misfortune.
Karma.
Payback.
You name it.
I recieved it yesterday.

I'm not mad that I owe a special person even more now.
I'm not mad that my world was crashing down real-quick-like.
I'm not sad for what happened to me.
Nor do I want anyone's pity.
It was a mistake. I'll pay for it. The end.
What happened to me will only make me stronger.
Only makes my will to rise above everything that much braver.
I've got things to prove. I have a short time to do it.
Some things aren't going as well as hoped.
But I still have plans. Backups. And more planning to do.

I am scared now.
I'm scared of the situations I may put myself in.
I'm scared I won't have my parents blessings in what I do.
I'm scared that because of that things won't go as good as they could.
I'm scared that my trust in humanity will be the death of me.
I'm scared of losing everything I have. Physically. Emotionally.
I'm scared of being alone. Scared of attacks. Scared that I'll fall.
Scared of what could have been.

And I am sad.
Sad that people can do that to one another.
Sad that I actually for an inkling of a second felt at ease with those vagrants.
Sad that a friend of mine had to go through that.
Sad that they have physically lost a lot.

But I am also glad.
Glad I still have that friend.
Glad I know how another friend feels about me.
Glad that I'm still feeling pretty strong in my decisions.
Glad that I'm still finding the good among all the crap.
Glad that I know I can pull through this.
Glad I see what everyone else has been seeing.
Glad I'm finding ways to fix it.
Glad I'm in the process of learning. Growing.

My Gladness must out-weigh every other emotion.
I must conquer this situation.
I must be victorious.
I must.
The End.

--Kandy