A Quick Smile.

Yeah, so things are definitely looking up.
The kids who got hurt are getting fixed.
My housing problems are working themselves out.
Life is pretty much grand.

But my heart is still all kinds of fucked.
Go figure.
Hearts and Heads shouldn't mix.
That's what I've decided.
You should be given either a heart. Or a head.
Haha.
Okay, that's quasi....yeah, that's dumb.
But it kind of makes sense. (To me, anyway.)

Logically.
I need to give it up.
Call it a friendship.
And stop caring so damn much.
Kill the desires and quasi-move on.

Heart-ily.
(Yeah, it's a word. Bitches.)
I want to be back in your arms.
Immerced in your love.
I never want to give up on you.
I know it can be a grand romance and a thriving friendship.

Yeah. Talk about an inner battle.
I love it.
Too bad this is what makes me feel alive.
Knowing that you can care for a person so much.
To know that if they were hurt, it'd hurt you 10 fold.
To know if you lost them, you'd do anything to have them back.
To know they're there when you call them.

Yeah. This is real. This is love.
And it makes me happy.
Even when it makes me unhappy.
And if love is real.
You are alive. You feel.
You're here. For-Real.

It's late/early.
I need to go to bed.
I'm typing too randomly.
Crazy kid.
She's insane.
Yeah.
She is.
(Now I'm conversing with myself.)

Bed.
The end.
--Kandy